Opinions, opinions, opinions

An aspect of myself which I have not paid much attention to till last year is my looks. Constantly comparing myself to others, making a mental judgement on who is "better looking". When people have a different opinion,especially if its unfavourable to me, I just go "Fuck it, I'm right, they're wrong".  I mean I'm 'not bad' looking but maybe its time for me to respect the fact that people have varying opinions to prevent myself from getting upset again.

Honestly, I couldnt give a fuck if someone I'm not close to said something I deem wrong. But when someone close says it, damn it really affects me. Am I really that delusional? I guess I have to accept and learn that opinions vary and should just believe in myself. 

Growing up

Im no longer fine with things I was okay with in the past. Guess thats growing up huh. It feels really good to be able to say that

Revelation

Feels much better to have to told my close friends about it. I feel liberated and really glad that they have been supportive! I mean I've always known but never really accepted it, let alone confess to others, cos i was embaressed. Cant wait to see what the future holds :)

Extroverted introvert

"Why are you so quiet " , "why you so dao one" are questions that people ask me. "Because I have nothing to say " would be my reply and that's the truth.

I mean what's the point of interacting with someone for the sake of it . It's superficial in a way and I really don't like it. Sure this will make you have less friends but hey , quality over quantity right ? Around my friends , I'm able to talk  and laugh around and most importantly ,mean it .

Anyone ?

Does anyone even find me attractive ? There's only so much one's ego can do to support one's self esteem

Advice

We've all been given advice in life. How many of us actually follow them ? Is there a need to follow advice ? I'm glad that I didn't follow advice given to me with regards to my path in life. Ultimately you know yourself best , you know what your goal in life is . Don't ever let someone tell you what you should do . 

That said , try to be accepting of advice and not outright reject it . It's always good to hear others opinions but whether to follow it or not is up to you. The type of advice also plays a part . The only advice I've actually listened to is on how to be a better human being and I'm really grateful to my girl friends for that ! 

Post A's thoughts

Despite how tough A levels was , Im genuinely glad I went through it . Promised myself that there wouldnt be a repeat of O's and really proud of myself of achieving that ! Sure my result wasnt great but the fact that I proved to myself that I could do it (especially for Chem and math ) was satisfying to say the least .

Not gonna lie , was aiming for at least 80rp . I honestly felt that it was attainable . 76.25 may be good enough to enter Nus Fass (at least i hope it is) but falling short of my aim was a tad disappointing . The worst thing about it is that my favourite and best subject let me down . I really do not know where i went wrong for econs . I worked hard for econs throughout the 2 years and it showed in my school results and to get a C for A's is really frustrating and baffling. Being the competitive person I am , seeing how people who usually fail econs in school  do better than me hurts .

The only consolation I can give myself is that an exam doesnt give a full picture of one's ability in a field . I mean I still suck at math though I got an A . I guess the only thing I can do now is to excel in econs in uni and prove that C was just an one-off and that is the promise I will make myself . I've proven to myself of my abilities once and I can , NO , I WILL prove my abilities again!